I hate this dumbass cat....

 



“What could pawsibly go wrong!”

I hate this cat, I hate this stupid fucking evil cat. This horrible, ugly, annoying creature. Bubsy 4D drops soon, 2 months to be exact, and by the worst luck imaginable, it is made by one of my favorite indie teams, so I now feel obligated to try it. Then a demo launched, and ya know what, yea that demo slapped, it was fun, I enjoyed it. Unfortunately I am what the kids call autistic so I like to experience a series as much as I can. This means I decided to play every single Bubsy game released before 4D. I thought before I booted this up that maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe it’d be decent, boring at worst. People online overreact about a lot of stuff, I figured hey Bubsy might be a similar case what could possibly be the issue? No, they were all right, they were RIGHT ABOUT HOW EVIL THIS CAT WAS. I hate this dumb bobcat and you will discover why.

I make it no secret here I adore a good platformer. I adore the whole genre really, even mediocre ones, there’s something about jumping from platform to platform that just puts a lot of fun in me. Logically, Bubsy should have that same amount of fun, but unfortunately, Bubsy is dedicated to making you as miserable as possible. I could forgive the dull level design, how much everything feels the same, how every level just feels like a repeat of each other besides the theming, or the bad music, or the annoying catchphrases if Bubsy at least controlled decently. He does not, he controls horribly. This motherfucker controls like Sonic the Hedgehog with soap permanently stuck onto his bottom boot. Every time I go to make a stop, Bubsy slips and slides like CRAZY so it feels awful to get him to stop, which is especially horrible with just how much bullshit the game likes to put in front of you. It feels like every 2 centimeters there's an obstacle here that will destroy you. It wouldn’t be so much of an issue, but the catch is Bubsy does the funny thing of DYING IN ONE HIT NO MATTER WHAT!!! Combine this with the fast as hell paced speed, the slippery controls, and the constant barrage of enemies and death traps and you have a recipe for one of the worst platformers out there. This game feels designed to hate you, to torture you, to make you suffer, it just wants you to die repeatedly, wants you to despise this bob cat, and ya know what, it did it. I hated my time playing Bubsy, I hated my entire experience dealing with this awful bobcat, and I’m praying that the very least Bubsy 2 is a better experience, because if it isn’t, I will be in utter hell.